Mastering the Art of Talk Dating Like a Generation Z: Fifty-One Niche Words for Love, Intimacy and Questionable Conduct

This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media slang.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed guide to the phrases this generation is using to navigate love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

A

Realness – For Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who forgo having children to focus on their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral quirks suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks affirm your decision to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {